


Not giving up (even when you want to)

by firstadream100



Series: The 100 - Short AU Stories [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, I'm trash for this ship, Ice Mechanic, Physical Disability
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstadream100/pseuds/firstadream100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an accident that leaves her with a spine injury, Raven Reyes goes through several surgeries and physical therapy.  On the second round of physical therapy, Raven is ready to give up, not caring if her leg never gains the functionality promised my her doctor.  Clarke Griffin, her therapist and long-time friend, is frustrated at Raven's lack of motivation, and decide to put her with another equally annoying and frustratingly handsome patient.</p><p>or</p><p>We were both pain in the ass patients while in physical therapy, so they put us together so we can annoy each other instead</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PT is a Pain in the Ass

**Author's Note:**

> So I was taking physical therapy the other day (neck spams) and a story began to form in my mind. Ice Mechanic might be my favorite ship right now, I don't even care if the only interaction was just a second long. 
> 
> I am not a doctor or a physical therapist, so any error in medical jargon is all my own. Also, no Beta. So any errors and mistakes, all my own too.

"And ten sessions of physical therapy might give you a 50% functionality on your left leg," Dr. Abby Griffin said, while writing on the prescription pad. “We may need more than one round of therapies to get to that point.”

"Only 50%?" Raven asked, irritation building up.  "Only 50%? We already tried physical therapy.  It didn't work!  Is there something else? Anything else."  The look on the doctor's face already answered her question.

Abby sighed. "Raven, look.  In the past year and a half, you've had two major spinal surgeries.  You've been in bed recovering more than you've been on your feet.  The first round of PT was after the first surgery and it was to prevent the muscles of your leg from atrophy.  Now we need to strengthen them and work on your balance.  You need to get stronger so we can assess again in a couple of months...maybe a year."

"A year? No, I can't wait a year to see if this bum ass leg gets any better.  The brace helps but not completely.  And I won't do ten painful therapy sessions just for 50% of functionality," she replied, her voice sounding defeated when she was fighting to be positive.  "Are you sure there's anything more we can do?"

"Yes, there is," Abby answered.  Raven eyes widen in hope of something else.  "We can try physical therapy, again."

Raven arrived to her first physical therapy session a half an hour before her scheduled time.  Since she couldn't walk long distances, let alone drive, she relied in her friends to drop her off and pick her up at each appointment.  They always were available and Raven suspects they program their class and work schedules to be available for her.  She loved them for that.

In the waiting room, she took out her tablet while she waited, and began correcting some new designs she was working on.  She knew the first sessions of physical therapy were the most painful ones, and from experience, she would get home and sleep the worst off.  She wanted to get ahead on some work before starting this torture.

Agitated voices from inside the therapy area distracted her.

"I won't do it," a male voice said.

"Come on, if you don't move that arm is going to hurt even more." Raven recognized Clarke's annoyed voice anywhere.  Her childhood friend was being trained as a physical therapist and did her practice hours on her mom's clinical center.  If Clarke was going to be her therapist, she will try to appeal to her soft side and try to get out of the more harder exercises.

"I don't care. I'm leaving."

"Sir...sir, you can't leave.  We barely even started," Clarke pleaded.

Suddenly, the door to the therapy center opened and an angry man strode right past the waiting area.  He was tall, with broad shoulders and muscular chest.  He had piercing blue eyes and shoulder-long brown hair, tied in a half pony tail.  He was wearing a sling on his left arm.  Clarke trailed behind pleading him to continue his session.  He didn't stop or glance anywhere but the door.  And like that he exited the office and disappeared.

"Intense," Raven whispered.

Clarke looked at where she was sitting with surprise. "Raven! You're here early for your appointment."

"Didn't have anything else to do," she dismissed.

"Well, it looks like I have an opening.  Shall we?"

Reluctant, and with great effort on her part, Raven stood up and limped towards the doors Clarke was holding for her.

* * *

 

By session three, Raven was ready to give up.  She thought that having Clarke as her therapist, she was going to have it easier, but it wasn't.  Clarke pushed her harder because she knew Raven could give more than she was giving.  But it was painful as hell.  She had her work 10 minutes in a stationary bike.  After it was lifting small weights with both of her legs.  Then it was stretching, which was the most painful exercise yet.  The only relief she received was 10 minutes of massage and heat pads.  But it was still sore and painful for hours after the session.  She hadn't been able to sleep well since the first session.  And already rescheduled two times before practically being dragged to the office by Bellamy and his sister, Octavia.  She loved them to death, but right now there were on the top of her most hated enemies.

She was lounging on the stationary bike, not really doing anything when she heard him again.

"I hate this," the male voice said.

Raven searched for him in the large gym area.  He was lifting small weights with his left arm and Clarke was assisting him.

"You're doing great, Roan.  Just five more," she encouraged him.

Raven took the time really look at the man, Roan.  He was more muscular than she noticed the first time she saw him.  He had his hair up in a messy ponytail, eyes squinting in concentration.  His left arm was out of the sling and he was wearing a sleeveless shirt.  Raven could appreciate how muscular and handsome he was.  He was much older than she, probably ten years, but she couldn't deny he was attractive...hell, he was hot.  Raven also noticed a small round pink scar on his bicep.   _Looks like a gunshot wound,_  she thought. 

"...and five.  See, not too bad, right?" Clark said.

"Yeah, right," he answered sarcastically.  "We're done here."

"Not yet.  We have a few more exercises to do before..."

"I said...we're done," he spat back, angry.  He got up and after getting the sling from the floor, he walked out the door.  Clarke stood rooted on same place for a few seconds and then turned to walk towards Raven with a defeated look on her face.

"What's up with him?" Raven asked her. 

"You know I can't tell you.  Patient confidentiality," Clarke answered back, while looking at the stationary bike with a questioning look.  Raven began to pedal half-heartily.

"I'm not asking you to disclosure his medical information, Clarke," Raven replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm just asking about the attitude."

"You've finished with the ten minutes?" was Clarke's attempt to change the subject.

"Um, yeah...sure," she lied.

* * *

 

By the fifth session, Clarke had her walking without her brace and supporting herself from two parallel bars.  She was losing her balance and her bum leg gave out constantly.  She fell more than once, annoyed and irritated.

"Damn it," she yelled at the third fall.

"Are you doing your home exercises, Raven?"

"Yes, I am," she lied.  Clarke looked at her knowingly.  "Damn it, Clarke! I am." She tried to sound convincing, but Clarke wasn't buying it.

"Fine.  Rest for a bit and we'll do the weights," Clarke said, while helping Raven walk towards a bench.

Raven took her brace and began placing it on her leg. "Oh, no.  I'm leaving right now. I'm not doing this anymore."

"Oh, no you won't," Clarke remarked, taking the brace off Raven's leg and out of her reach. "Weights...now."

"You can't make me.  I'm your patient, you can't make me do something I don't want."

"I'm also your friend and I know you can do this, Raven. Please," she pleaded.

Raven crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly.

"Fine," Clarke said.  You're not leaving until your hour is up.  You can sit there and be angry at the world or do something about it.  Either way, you get your brace at the end of the hour.

Stubborn as she was, she sat there until her hour was up.

* * *

 

Clarke must've ratted her out to Bellamy and Octavia, because both siblings were on a rampage when she got home.   _So much for patient confidentiality_ , she thought.They both went on and on about how she had to do this if she wanted to get better, how 50% is better than nothing, how they know she could do it if she put her mind into it.  She blocked them out most of the time, and by the time they left, she was exhausted and defeated.  A week later, Bellamy comes barging on her house, annoyed and angry.

"Hey! I gave you that key in case of emergencies," she yelled at him from the sofa.

"You've lost all your physical therapy appointments and one with Abby," he said, standing in front of her and blocking her from the television.

"Yeah, so."

"We're going, now."

"What? No."

"Yes.  Abby has an opening in an hour and has agreed to evaluate your progress with the therapies.  Which we know is shit. So, let's go."

"No. I'm not going."

"Raven, don't make me pick you up and drag you to that office."

"Like you would..."

She couldn't finish the sentence because Bellamy was picking her up and carrying her outside, where Octavia waited in their truck, engine running.  She tried to kick him, but her leg was limp and the right one tired from putting all her weight on it.  She spent the whole drive to the clinic in silence, giving both Blake siblings murderous stares.  Neither one of them paid much attention to her the whole trip.

Once at the parking, she tried to run and escape Bellamy's grasp, but she was too slow.  He didn’t even have to run to get to her.  Both Bellamy and Octavia escorted her to the waiting area, one Blake at either side of her.  She had never been as angry and humiliated as she was at that very moment.

To make matters worse, hottie pony tail guy enters the waiting area and sits across the room from them.  He doesn't even acknowledge them, just stares at his phone.  Raven gives a silent thanks to the universe, because she just noticed Bellamy carried her out in her pajamas.  And she couldn’t remember if she showered yesterday.  Not the best impression she wants to give to him.  Not that she cares, but when in the presence of a hot guy, one doesn't not want to be wearing a beat down Metallica shirt and plaid long pajama pants.  And at least have showered in the last 24 hours.

Of course, when Abby evaluates her, there is no progress.  On the contrary, because Raven spent the last week practically glued to her sofa, she lost strength on her left leg and her right one was exhausted from the extra work when she had to walk to the kitchen or bathroom.

"We might have to consider going back to crutches," Abby said while checking something on a medical record.  Raven was sitting on the exam bed, legs dangling on the air.

"What? No.  There's no going back to anything."

"Raven, if you keep forcing your right leg, you might end up with two dysfunctional legs.  Probably will have to use a walker or even a wheelchair."

"Oh, hell no.  I'll stay in bed forever," she said defiantly.

"Raven," Abby said as she approached her.  "I've known you since you and Clarke were in elementary school.  I've seen you grown into this smart and amazing young woman.  The accident was another thing that happened to you that it shouldn't have.  I'm telling you as a friend and as your doctor.  If you don't follow my instructions, if you don't do PT and do it right, you will lose all functionally that we gained with the surgeries.  And you'll have more pain." She walked back to her desk and wrote something on the prescription pad.  "I'm recommending you another round of PT.  It's up to you what you want to do."  She handed Raven the prescription and with a sad smile exited the room.

* * *

 

Nothing scares you into going to physical therapy as spending the night crying in pain...on the floor...after falling and not being able to get up for hours.  Three days later, Raven asks Octavia to drop her off at the clinic, and the smug smile on her face is enough to make Raven annoyed.

When she arrives to the clinic, Clarke is excited to see her.  But begins her routine of exercises a little weary.

"You okay, Clarke?" she asked her friend while she's helping her stretch.

"Yeah, just...tough day.  That's all."

"What happened?"

"Difficult patients, nothing out of the ordinary," she added.

"Am I the difficult patient. Or was it the tall hot pony tail guy again?" she asked absentmindedly, concentrating on stretching her good leg.

Clarke face changes completely.  From one of frustration to one of delight. "Huh, tall pony tail guy?"

"Yeah, the one who always yells and storms out of here," she continued concentration on stretching her bum leg, not noticing Clarke's reaction.

"Um, you know what. I forgot I left someone with a heat pad, probably about to finish.  Keep doing that while I come back"

Raven ignored her and continued her exercise.  It hurt like hell, but she was determined not to become completely disabled.  If there was something she could do, however painful, she was going to try.  Now it was a challenge.

A couple of minutes later, Clarke approaches her, a big smile on her face.

"What's up with you, weirdo?"

"Oh, nothing. Hey, we've been trying something new with a couple of patients.  Are you willing to try it?"

"Try what?" she asked weary.  Clarke's grin is wide and there's a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Oh, nothing really.  We pair up some of the patients that are willing and they help each other out.  You know support and all."

"Ugh, Clarke! No," she whined.  "I don't want to talk to people."

"Come on, Raven.  Why don't you try it?  Just today."

"Fine, if it'll get you to leave me alone for a couple of minutes."

She follows Clarke to the weights area while finishing strapping her brace securely in her leg.

"Raven, meet your partner for today.  Roan, this is Raven."

At the mention of the vaguely familiar name, something clicks in Raven's mind.  _Tall hot pony tail guy._

And when she looks up, she is met with intense and piercing blue eyes.


	2. It's Not a Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Roan slowly get closer to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll go down with this ship.

_I’m going to kill Clark,_ Raven thinks, as her now _ex_ -friend practically shoves her towards tall hot pony tail guy. Roan.

“Okay, so this is how it’ll work.  Each of you will have a set of exercises, which we already practiced individually. I’ll check on you every few minutes.  The point of pairing you up, is that you’ll give each other support when struggling to keep with the exercise.  If you need assistance, just let us know.  I’ll come back in 10 minutes,” Clark says and disappears towards one of the exam rooms.  She sounds way to happy and cheerful. Very un-Clarke.

Raven just stares at the space her friend, _ex-_ friend, was standing seconds ago, aware that tall hot pony tail guy was looking at her. After an uncomfortable amount of time, Raven sits on one of the benches near the weights, directly in from of the bench he’s working.

Out of the corner of her eyes she notices movement, and turns slightly to look at him _._   He is concentrating on doing some movements with his arm, and she notices the pink scar on his left bicep again.  At this distance, she notices some atrophy on his muscle, but nevertheless, his arms are nicely toned and muscular.  She also notices several scars on his arms and one on his face.

She begins to do her exercises, completely ignoring him, the same way he’s ignoring her.  After what seem to be an hour, Clark comes back.

“So, how’s is it going?”

She was met with almost identical annoyed looks, which would have make Raven laugh if she wasn’t already in pain.  Roan’s eyes seem to be sending daggers to Clark, who was ignoring him and smiling at both.

“Did you find support in each other’s company?” she asks again.

Silence.

A little deflated she adds, “It’s okay, well try again in your next appointment.  It seems like most of your appointments are scheduled at the same time. What a coincidence, uh?” Then she turns and leaves them alone again.

“Imagine that,” Raven says under her breath, voice dripping with sarcasm. She hears a light chuckle coming from the other side.  Surprised she looks up to him, but he is already taking his sling and leaving the area.

* * *

 

“Well, Clark just pull the asshole move of the year,” Raven complains to Octavia, on her ride back home.

“Oh, yeah? What did she do now?”

“Under the excuse of ‘peer support’ or some shit like that, she decided to pair me up with tall hot pony tail guy during my therapy today,” she says, while absentmindedly fixing the straps of her brace.

“Tall hot pony tail guy? Care to elaborate?” Octavia asks, clearly curious.

 _Damn it,_ Raven curses internally. _I have to stop calling him that._

“Just this guy that is doing PT too.  She says that it will help us support each other during the exercises.  And I’m pretty sure changed the appointment schedules so we both have the session at the same time.”

“And this guy is…”

“Just some guy,” Raven says, looking out the window and avoiding Octavia’s eyes.

“Just some…tall…hot…pony tail…guy,” Octavia adds, trying to get some information out of Raven, who is actively ignoring her.

“I don’t know what Clark wishes to achieve with this.  The guy didn’t even say a word to me today,” she says, trying to change the attention about the fact that she said he was hot.

“Oh, so that’s what got you annoyed? That tall hot guy didn’t talk to you?”. Raven didn’t answer. “Did you talk to _him_?”

“I’m doing PT to help my leg, not to talk to guys.”

“ _Hot_ guys,” Octavia teases.

“Whatever,” Raven mutters. She was really going to kill Clarke.

* * *

 

Next PT appointment, Roan is nowhere to be seen.  Raven is relieved, but also a little disappointed, as she walks over the weights area to do her exercises.  She already knows the routine she has to follow, and Clark checks in on her at the beginning of her appointment, helping her take her brace off. She hates not having her brace, makes her feel vulnerable and weak.  But she can’t do the PT exercises with it.  She wears a protective gear to prevent injuries, but she doesn’t have the stability that her brace gives her. It sucks. It’s been raining for a couple of days straight and the temperature has been low, which has started to tense up her thigh muscle. Which means more pain…which means more painful PT.

She sits on one of the benches and puts some ankle weights for her exercises.  She’s halfway through when Clark checks in on her, corrects her posture, and leaves her.  A couple of minutes later, she’s sitting there, tired and doing her exercises half-assed and absent-minded, when Roan silently sits on the bench in from of her and takes off his sling.

She sits straighter, and looks at him.  He slightly nods at her in acknowledgement and takes one of the smaller weights, flexing his left hand and arm.  Silently, Raven starts her exercise, this time putting more effort in doing it correctly. 

This became a routine in the next couple of sessions. Raven would be halfway in her session, when Roan walks in, and they finish the routine in silence.  She notices that he is more compliant with Clarke’s recommendations than before.  She also has noticed that even if the sessions are painful, her leg is getting stronger every day.  Of course, she’s not running a marathon any time soon, but she feels more stable when walking.  She hates to admit it, but Clarke was right.   Even if they are not talking to each other, his presence is a challenge for her; she’s trying to prove herself she can do it.

Raven can’t say the same for her PT companion.  He always arrives late to the session, and she’s heard Clarke chastise him every time.  He grumbles in return and goes back to his routine.

* * *

 

To say Raven is surprised to see Roan walking into the clinic while she’s sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be called, is an understatement.  He sits near her, leaving an empty chair between them.  She notices that he starts to fidget in his seat, taping his feet restlessly.    

“It’s Raven, right?” he asks, his voice rough, low and, she has to admit, _sexy_.  

“Yeah,” she answers, giving him a sideway glance.  Today his hair is up in man bun, and she finds it even more attractive. He’s looking right at her, and it’s unnerving in a way Raven doesn’t want to admit. A chill runs through her body and settles in her stomach. It’s been long since someone had that effect on her. And she hates to admit, she longs for it.

“I’m Roan,” he responds with a smirk.

Raven is still processing her shock, when someone calls her name, followed by Roan’s. He walks past her and holds the door open for her, not making eye contact.

Her shock must have registered in her face because once inside, Clarke sends her a questioning look while looking back a Roan.  She responds with a shrug and sits down to take off her brace and get ready for the session.  Clark is giving Roan instructions on his routine for the day, and Raven is actively ignoring how his voice travels across the room. He sure is talkative today, which makes more difficult for Raven to ignore him.

She walks towards the stationary bikes, where Clark has her increasing the resistance every week.  It puts Roan directly on her line of sight.  He’s working with Clark on one of the stations, flexing his left arm and stretching his injured bicep.  His face is turned away from her, so for the next 10 minutes she enjoys the view of Roan’s muscled arms flexing.  She’s enjoying this new arrangement, where she shamelessly watch him. Unexpectedly, his face turns and looks straight at her, like if he knew exactly where in the room she was at that moment.  She can see the pain on his face, clearly trying to unsuccessfully hide it from Clark, who has guilt all over her face. Roan looks straight at her and his whole face tense. There’s this unspoken understanding right then and there…she knows the kind of pain he’s going through.  She gives him a slight nod, which she hopes conveys empathy and support.  She gives him a small smile, while he answers it with a small nod of his own.

About 15 minutes later, they end up in the weights area.  This time, Roan sits on the other side of the bench Raven is already sitting on.  They go on with their routine like before.  Raven is struggling with one of the exercises, trying to remember Clarke’s instructions but to stubborn and proud to ask for assistance.  Every time she does the exercise it hurt even more, and she knows she can do more harm than good if she keeps doing it this way. But again…suborn and proud.

“You’re not supposed to put weight on your leg while you’re doing that,” a voice to her right says.

She turns towards him and notices he’s a few inches closer to her.  She’s annoyed with herself and her leg, which is cramping up.  Roan apparently notices her mood, because he backs away, and keeps minding his own business.

But it’s too late. When Raven tries the exercise again, her muscle cramps up, and she hisses in pain.  She feels, more than sees, Roan put his weights on the floor and move closer to her.

“Hey,” he says softly, sitting inches from her.  He sits by her side while she takes deep breaths.  She appreciates him not rushing to her rescue offering help when she doesn’t need it, or even worse, calling Clarke.  He just sits by her side, looking at his own injured arm and flexing his hand.

After a couple of minutes, her leg is finally losing up and she’s able to flex it without feeling much pain.  She looks at Roan, who is observing the movement of her leg.  He looks up to her and gives her a small nod and smirk.  It feels unnerving being on the receiving end of this type of acknowledgement. She doesn’t detect pity from him, just understanding and even support.

She nods back to him, and he moves back to his corner of the bench to finish his routine.  Raven knows she won’t be able to do anything more today without injuring herself, so she just stares around the room.  At the other side of the room, Clark looks back at her with a small smile.  Raven rolls her eyes annoyed.  It’s bad enough that she’s sore and in pain, but giving Clark the satisfaction of being right is unacceptable.

Noticing that Raven is not doing any exercise, Clarke walks towards them.

“Everything okay?” she asks, looking at Raven and her PT partner, who is purposely looking at the floor.

“Just a small cramp,” Raven answers, again thankful that Roan is not throwing under the bus.

Clark examines her leg, and states that she should rest for a couple of minutes before continuing her therapy.

Thankfully, today’s routine ended with a massage and 10 minutes of the heat pad, followed by light stretching of her legs.  She’s halfway with her round of PT and she has Abby’s follow-up evaluation later in the week. She’s hoping to hear good news…some sort of progress or hope.

After her session, she says goodbye to Clarke with a wave of her hand and limps towards the exit.  She’ll fill the bathtub with hot water today, to help her still painful leg. She’ll have one of the Blake siblings go on an ice cream run too. She deserves it.

She feels a presence behind her, and she just _knows_ who it is.  On the parking lot, Octavia is waiting for her inside of her truck, and a smile forms on her lips when she looks at Raven. Or rather, behind Raven.  She is shamelessly checking him out.

Rolling her eyes, she looks over her shoulder and locks eyes with Roan, who is smirking, the asshole. He winks at her and walks towards what Raven believes is his car.

“Is that him,” Octavia asks once she’s in the car.  Raven doesn’t answer.  “That is _him_. You’re right, he _is_ hot.”

“Shut up, Blake.”

* * *

Three days later, Raven is sitting in the waiting to be called for her assessment.  She’s been doing the exercises at home faithfully.  She’s felt her leg less painful and stronger.  If she keeps doing it, she believes she’ll have more functionality than Abby predicted.  She’s too stubborn to let statistics and probability win over her determination.

She’s reading one of the trash magazines that are around, when Roan walks in.  He’s wearing sunglasses and a fresh new bandage on his right arm.  When he sits down right on the chair beside her and she notices he winces when he’s trying to move his left arm.  He takes his sunglasses off trying to avoid looking at her, and she notices the bruise around his left eye and cheek.

“What the hell happened to you?” she asks before she can stop herself.

“Nothing,” he answers, still not looking directly at her.

“Sure, it looks like nothing. A big, painful nothing,” she answers back.

He chuckles low. “A work thing.”

“What kind of work you do, that leaves your face like it was used as a punching bag?” she impulsively asks again.

He turns to look at her.  His left eyelid is swollen, making him squint. “I guess they kinda did.  I work in security.”

She must have look concerns because he adds, “I’ll be okay.”

“What about your arm?”

“I’ll be okay,” he repeats.

She notices he is uncomfortable talking about it, so she decides to go for a lighter tone on the whole situation. “Well, you better not fall behind.  It’s no fun to win if you can’t keep up because you keep hurting yourself.”

He smiles at that. A genuine smile. “This is not a competition,” he says, still smiling. Raven detect a hint of a flirtatious tone. Or is it her wishful thinking?

“Keep telling yourself that,” she adds, not being able to keep the smile off her face.

She bites her lower lip to keep her smile to develop into a full grin, and her heart races when he notices his eyes follow the movement and focus on her lips.  She can feel her heartbeat on her throat when he looks up again at her eyes, smirking. He’s clearly flirting.  It’s been a while for Raven, but she’s noticing she might be flirting back. Unconsciously, she has leaned a little towards him and she can feel the heat coming off his body.

She almost jumps when she hears Abby call her name. She clears her throat and gets up.  While walking to the doctor’s office, she can feel him looking at her and can’t help but look over her shoulder to him.  He still smiling, and just when she’s going to be out of his line of sight, he winks.  She looks back ahead and feels her face warm.  It’s an unfamiliar feeling…it’s been so long since she’s been in a place where she believes she can do this. Flirt with someone, find someone attractive and act on that attraction. Even if she actively hasn’t act on that attraction, the fact that she’s not avoiding him like the plague is an indicator that’s probably moved on.

* * *

 

She has to take deep breaths.  It feels like when you fall and all the air gets knocked out of your chest.  She is vaguely aware that Abby is still talking. 

“We’re aiming now at pain reduction,” Abby says softly. Raven is staring straight at her, but not really looking. “Raven?”

“What does that mean? I’m going to limp the rest of my life?” she says, her tone flat and distant.

“The MRI from earlier this week shows significant degeneration of the muscle tissue and the ligaments.  Any type of surgical intervention is going to do more harm than good.  We must reassess your physical therapy and do more pain management, instead of just strength building.”

“You said if I did the PT I would get better.”

“And you did.  Your leg can now hold your weight better, and that’s why is not hurting at much.  But it will not get any better it terms of functionality, Raven. I’m sorry,” Abby says, softly.

Raven just sits there. All the illusion of progress and hope for a better prognosis have just been blown.  Abby is still talking about pain management and pain reduction, when Raven stands up and just walks out of the office.

“Raven,” Abby calls out. “Raven!”

But she ignores her.  She limps through the waiting area and out the building. She is aware of Roan trying to get her attention, but she ignores him too.  She starts walking to the parking lot, cursing when she notices that her ride is not going to be picking her up for another hour.  She was supposed to have a PT session after her appointment.  But she needs space, she needs to be by herself…to process what this means.

She feels someone following her close, and annoyed, turns.  Roan stops abruptly, nearly crashing with her.  When he sees the fire and anger in her eyes, he takes a step back.  He doesn’t say or ask anything, just stands there looking at her.  His eyes are full of concern, but he respects her silence.

Raven turns again and starts walking towards a small park across the street.  She hears footsteps behind her, and lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Stop following me,” she says over her shoulder.  The only answer is the sound of footsteps. “I said stop following me!” she says more forceful. Still, only footsteps.

She turns again, and notices that Roan is a few steps being her, probably giving her some space.

“Why are you following me?” she asks angrily.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he answers softly, cautious of setting her off in an angry rampage.

“Okay?! Of course, I’m okay!” she yells at him. “Now leave me alone.”

She limps to a nearby bench and sits gracelessly. “Why are you still here?”

Roan ignores her question and sit on the bench to her left, leaving space between them.  He just sits there and just looks at her.

“I don’t need you pity. Go,” she spats at him.

“It’s not pity, it’s concern,” he answers truthfully. “I would never pity you, Raven.”

She can feel the tears coming, angry and frustrated tears. “It’s not fair,” she says softly.

“No, it’s not,” he just adds.

They sit there, in silence.  All possible scenarios run through Raven’s head: having to wear the brace the rest of her life, the pain, the limping, the sensation of feeling incomplete…of something missing. _Not being enough, not being complete,_ she thoughts.  Something she’s viewed as temporary, as a transition, is not permanently.  She’s not recovering from an injury anymore, now…now she has a disability.

She feels Roan move at her side, and turns to look at him.  He’s still looking at her intensely. He seems to want to say something, but stops himself.

“What?” she says defensibly.

“I don’t know what’s going on.  I can only imagine what you’re going through, what’s going through your mind right now,” he says cautiously. She raises an eyebrow at him, expectantly.  She feels exhausted, drained by the anger and frustration.

“But…?” she asks defeated.

“But…this is not a competition,” he smirks and winks at her.

She can’t help but laugh. Later she’ll tell herself it was the exhaustion, and not that weirdly he knew exactly what to say to her at that moment.  She elbows him lightly.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” she answers with a small smile.  She notices that he moves a little closer and puts his right arm on the back of the bench, briefly brushing her shoulder. In turn, she leans slightly towards him.

“You need anything?” he asks serious, but his voice low and soft.

She’s used to her friends be all over her trying to help her.  Only when she gets annoyed and frustrated with them, would they ask what does she want anything.  Roan doesn’t just assume.  He straight asks her what she needs, if anything.  And she appreciates this weird understanding they have of each other. Raven thinks about it.  Her mind draws blank. 

“I don’t know. I’m exhausted. I just want to go home,” she answers deflated.

“Is your ride coming soon?”

Raven takes her cellphone out of her pocket and checks the hour.  Bellamy would be out of his job in half an hour, and it takes him 10 minutes to where she is. She could wait, but her body is going to hate her for it.  Already she is starting to feel the ache in her leg. Waiting 40 minutes in a bench didn’t sound appealing. And she wasn’t going to go back to Abby’s office.

“In a while,” she answers. She looks back at Roan, who is looking at her doubtfully. “In like 40 minutes,” she winces.

He rolls his eyes. “That’s not ‘a while’, Raven.”

“Shut up.”

“I could give you a ride, if you want.”

“I don’t need you to,” she answers defensively.

“I know you don’t need you.  I said if you want.  You’re tired, and you’ll get home faster if I give you a ride.”

That does sound appealing.  She can be home in less than 10 minutes, filling her bathtub with warm water and eating ice cream she has on her fridge.  Roan is looking at her patiently.

“Fine, but only because I don’t want to wait here for my ride,” she says while stretching her leg, standing up and walking across the street to the parking lot.  

* * *

 

“It’s the fourth house on the right,” Raven says as Roan turns to her street.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him take out his phone from his jacket pocket with his injured hand and pass it to her.

“Save your phone number,” he says nonchalant while pulling over in front of the house.

“Why would I do that?” she asks, more to hide the sudden blush.

He puts the car in parking, and turns to look at her.  He just looks at her, expectantly. Raven feels the blush intensify.  His phone doesn’t have a passcode and she begins to put a fake number.

“I would appreciate if it was your _real_ phone number,” he adds.

She looks at him defiantly. “Are you going to give me _your_ phone number? Or is this a ‘don’t call me, I’ll call you’ situation?”

“Oh, believe me. I’m going to call you,” he answers, his voice low.

Raven feels warm all over.  She puts her real number and gives his phone back.  He looks at him expectantly.  The asshole still doesn’t believe she gave him her real phone number.  She can see his finger hovering the call icon.  She looks at him defiantly, takes his phone off his hands and places the call.  Her phone starts ringing on her pocket.  She hangs up and hands back his cellphone.

To say that she felt like electricity run through her when their fingers brush, is a cliché.  And Raven hates clichés.  But the truth is it felt like an electric shock, from her fingers to her chest.  His yes never left hers, and she felt rooted to the seat.  She notices him clearing his throat and shifting slightly.   _Maybe he felt it too,_ Raven thoughts, but quickly pushes it out of her mind.

“Thanks for the ride,” she says quickly, and gets out of the car not looking back until once inside, when she hears his car drive away.

Five minutes later, she is filling up her bathtub and texts Bellamy to say she’s already home.  She sees the missed call from an unknown number and saves it as _R_.  Her finger hoovers over the small envelope icon.  Before she changes her mind, she touches it and it opens and empty conversation.  She writes quickly ‘thanks for today’ and quickly closes the application.

She’s relaxing in her tub, when she receives a messages notification.  She reaches for her phone and reads his short reply.

_Anytime._

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this has been fun so far. Now the good part begins. This is my first time writing these characters, so if it's OOC it's my fault. Comments or suggestions are more than welcome!


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